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VALERIE EXORCISES VAN HALEN’S GHOST!

KANYE PORN MAKES BIANCA’S SKIN CRAWL • Now their marriage is on rocks

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$45M SELLECK CRIES POVERTY! • Says without Blue Bloods he can’t afford posh ranch

NEWS FLASHES!

WHOOPI GETTING WHACKED! • Hot-tempered View host on everyone’s last nerve

ANCIENT DARK LADY FACES THE MUSIC! • Nip/tuck agony as she fights to keep younger man

CHER GOES ALL OUT TO DRAG AE DOWN AISLE! • Eager to drop millions on wedding of the century – before she loses him!

PICKLER DEATH PROBE! • Suicide hubby’s family goes in, guns blazing, as mystery deepens

SEX CREEP TOOBIN ABORTION SCANDAL!

OUTCAST COLLINS GOES UNDERCOVER!

IDLE LOPEZ AIMS FOR IDOL BOOST! • Floundering star needs to showcase her human side

BEN’S FACE FROZEN! • Oddly smooth skin means no scowling for moody Batman

PUSHY GWYN GOOPS UP DAKOTA’S WEDDING!

HOLLYWOOD STRAIGHT SHUTER! • Visit Instagram @ thenaughtygossip for more scoop!

CRITICS CHARGE CHURCH WITH STIFFING SEX ABUSE VICTIMS! • Archdioceses shield wealth while thousands await payouts – Watchdog groups

LAST DANCE FOR BRITNEY! • Prancing pop tart fearing career spiral after foot injury

DRAKE & KENDRICK RAP WAR IGNITES!

GRIEF SETS GEORGE STRAIGHT ON ROAD TO SWAN SONG!

KATE’S CANCER CRISIS EXPLODES! • Panicked palace can no longer hide the truth of her condition

CHARLES TREATS HARRY LIKE DIRT! • King’s snub sets royal renegade on path to oblivion

LONELY TRAVOLTA HIDES INSIDE SHELL!

AGING SLATER’S NEW BABY PUTS SPRING IN STEP!

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CRISS CROSS

BROKEN BROOKE’S MOMMY FIXATION! • Sleeps with grown daughters to ease abandonment fears

STORM KING! • Hero kid, 9, risks life for kin trapped in twister

FIENNES FIRE STILL BURNS FOR BABS!

BALDING BIEBER CUTS A RUG WITH NEW HAIRLINE!

MORGAN MESSES UP! • Chair-toss Wallen sits one out – while fans fume

BEAUTY QUEENS WAGE UGLY WAR ON PAGEANT! • Two winners toss back tarnished crowns amid charges of harassment

CROSSWORD #22

WONDER DRUG ZAPS PANCREATIC CANCER • Shrinks killer tumors

REVERSING DEAFNESS CAUSED BY NOISE

HOLLYWOOD HOOKUPS!

SANDRA SEWS HEART BACK ON SLEEVE!

All NEW! PUZZLE FUN

MIRACLE AI COMEBACK FOR TRAVIS!

COLT STILL KICKIN’ AFTER DYING TWICE!

2 FLORIDA TOWNS MONKEY AROUND! • Raging packs of rhesus macaques send locals fleeing

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CHINA WEAPONIZES EBOLA! • Engineers ultimate new bioweapon to wipe out West

RUSSIA’S DOOMSDAY PLOT! • Eyes space bomb to destroy satellites & control the planet!

RED Carpet

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

DOMINOES

CELEBRITY SQUEEZE

SUDOKU

HECHE ESTATE UP IN FLAMES!

ANOTHER PRATFALL FOR PARIAH CHRIS!

BUMBLING BUREAUCRATS STUNG OVER BEE EVICTION! • Mike fights city hall – and wins